Parting Ways

It is inevitable. It is usually not comfortable. There is always more than what is seen on the surface. So as a leader, how do you manage an employee parting ways? Well, it depends on the exact circumstances which are numerous. But one thing must remain consistent no matter what the circumstance or how hard it may be—your behavior.

Parting ways is never easy. It may be positive, it may be necessary, it may be a loss and it may impact you greatly. Your emotions will be tried and tested. But you are a leader. That means you have taken on a responsibility that is not for everyone. It means you agree to lead your team with consistency in your decisions as well as your emotions. You need to lead by example and show your team that no matter what the circumstances, you will be calm, calculated, and deliberate in your decisions. Whether going through a crisis or a parting of ways, the expectations for a leader remain the same.

It is critical that even if an employee is parting ways and leaving a sour wake in their path you stay the course. You will have many opportunities to respond to comments, questions, or unjustified allegations directed your way, but you can’t. You keep confidential business confidential. You don’t lead interested parties on with underlying suggestions. You simply respond that the departure is unfortunate, because no matter what the circumstance, it is. You never bad mouth anyone and you sincerely wish them the best.

As leaders, we will be presented with many opportunities to protect ourselves and our reputations by responding to folks seeking the scoop. But you have to overcome these temptations and trust that not responding is the best response. Your positive response or lack of will determine and protect your reputation much more than any justifying response you could offer. What you say is short term, how you behave is long term.

Servant or Position Leader?

There are two types of leadership categories. One is servant and the other is position. Which category do you fall into? Let’s take a moment and review the two and as you read on, determine which category relates to you.

Position leadership is inward. What this means is that this type of leader has placed their position above everything else and everything is directed towards their position. A position leader is fed by the fact that he has achieved a certain level or title in the organization. His number one priority in his daily activities is to maintain or elevate this position. It is self centered and needs to be regularly fed. It is fed by reminding everyone around them what position they are in. It is fed by recognition of how successful they are by pointing out their accomplishments—whether theirs or somebody else’s. This type of leader has to have control over decisions, information, or anything of value because if they have it—somebody else doesn’t.

Servant leadership on the other hand is outward—it places all importance on the people. What their title may be is not relevant. Whether they get the recognition for a project or great accomplishment is not important. Whether they get the credit for being a good leader and being rewarded with a promotion is not their objective. A servant leader doesn’t mind if their team members submit presentations, reports, or communicate above them in the organizational structure. They do not have to have the best office or perks to accomplish their job. This type of leader doesn’t need to control or filter information flow and they never hold on to information that is not confidential.

A servant leader has one focus—their people and their success. A servant leader has the super natural ability to place everyone around them above them. This type of leader has the amazing ability to be transparent with their team. It is someone who shares information freely, displays weaknesses, apologizes for mistakes, and asks for grace, guidance, and help. A servant leader consistently asks his team how they are doing and what they need to be successful; versus what he needs from them so he can be successful. A servant leader has the canny ability to understand that his entire success is based wholly on his team’s success. It is never about him, it is always about them.

Servant leadership is not easy. The world around us is consistently teaching us that what we have or who we are equates to success. We are consistently challenged by activity around us that makes us wonder why not us. In any organization there is always someone who is being recognized, rewarded, or promoted which is a reminder of what we don’t have. It will be hard to ignore these temptations, but if you maintain your focus on those around you will achieve true success. There is not one great leader in history that did it with their title alone. They did it because there were people who were willing to do anything for them; because they believed in their hearts that their leader would do anything for them. George Washington (General), Abraham Lincoln (President), Winston Churchill (Prime Minister), Jack Welch (CEO), John Wooden (Head Basketball Coach) and the list goes on. These great leaders had one thing in common; they understood that it was all about the people around them, if they served them…amazing things could happen—and they did!

Do You Care…How?

Most leaders will agree that to be successful in any industry you need employees that are motivated. High morale has shown to drive productivity, creativity, and ultimately the bottom line. So what do you do to ensure an engaged and motivated team?
You probably recognize your team with awards and bonuses. Maybe you offer meals. More than likely you seek their input on initiatives and policies. There are 101 ways to recognize and motivate your team. But there is only one that truly counts—you care for them!

Most professors teach and many books discuss ways to recognize and appreciate your staff. These initiatives focus on awards and material gifts. Don’t get me wrong, these are good and should be done, but without truly caring for each and every employee you will limit the benefits of those initiatives. If you think back about what made you feel great at your job as well as what bothered you, you may recognize that the root feeling was being cared for or the lack of. We all want to be cared for. We want to know deep in our hearts that we matter, that we offer value to our boss, team, and organization. So how do we ensure that our employees feel cared for?

I can assure you that it’s not by giving our employees material things. I recently had a friend tell me about his wife coming home with a coffee mug that was given to her by her organization. She made a comment as she showed it to my friend that, “now I’m really going to be motivated. Boy do I feel valued…” Material items are nice, but they don’t address internal needs whether we’re aware of them or not. Internal needs such as being looked in the eye when listened to, or not being distracted with emails, phone, or clock when speaking to an employee. Another example is body language that portrays engagement or simply stopping what you’re doing to make sure you acknowledge your employees when you see them. Another critical one is following through on things you said you will do versus dismissing them as if your conversation never happened. Caring for your team means sincerely investing in them with your time, focus, and heart.

If you naturally care for people, your actions will shine through. If you don’t, your actions will shine through. From the perspective of the employee…why else would you not communicate back with them when you said you would? Why else would you be reading your email when they’re talking to you? Why else would you not consider employee issues at home when discussing their performance? Because you don’t care, at least that’s what they will walk away with. This is the point you do a little soul searching—do I care about people or not? If not, may I suggest looking for a position where employees no longer report to you? This will help them and make your life better as well. You will no longer have to try and figure out why your team is not responding to you.

If you do sincerely care about your team members then make them a priority over everything else. You checking off tasks, meeting deadlines, responding to an email will not ensure your success or the success of your organization. Your people are the only ones that can make you, your department, or organization a success—so treat them as your number one priority!